love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
