I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
