She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
