I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
