i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
