I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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