i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
