new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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