I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
