nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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