The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
