Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
