I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
she peed on how many people?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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