i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
