member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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