so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him