now i know why i became what i already was.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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