there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
