I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
