Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
