I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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