Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
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I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
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I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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