Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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