She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Randomize
