its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
