I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
