New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
