He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My brain says no but my pants say off.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
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whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
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And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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