So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
