she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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