so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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