know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
