Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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