I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
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I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
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I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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