Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
