Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
