wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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