I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
