I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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