WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
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He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
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Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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