i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize