Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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