We're facebook friends in real life
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
barbara walters just said penis...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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