I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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