I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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