Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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