I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
