I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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