I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
