okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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