Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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