we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
17 year olds will be the death of me.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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