I can't breathe out the right side of my face
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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