No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Randomize
