We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
