All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
