You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
