just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize