Small penises have feelings too.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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