They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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