i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
