windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
