u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
It's never too late to be topless.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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