just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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